Hot Female Archers!

Yes, that’s what the email said. Here it is complete:
“I’m looking for hot female archers for a Viking Funeral segment I’m producing in San Francisco as part of an eco show for the Discovery Network. Women will be dressed in Viking costume and must shoot flaming arrows with great accuracy. Filming will occur in mid April.

If you know of anyone please have them contact me ASAP.

Danny Kon
Supervising Games Producer
Battleground Earth
Discovery Network
(c)(323)459-6605
(o)(310)623-4621 x9
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Even the perverts in the park don’t give me a second look, so I didn’t bother calling the guy. But the idea bothers me some. Why does the Discovery Network need “hot female archers”? Sounds more like the tagline Playboy would use while recruiting for their “Girls of Robin Hood” issue. Are the costumes going to be pure fantasy – fur lined bikinis for instance – or authentically dressed medieval Norse women? I’ve seen authentically costumed medieval Norse women, and the word “hot” doesn’t come to mind.

And though the concept of the female warrior is a popular fantasy theme, I’m not sure there’s a lot of scholarly history to back it up.

And who is going to supply the archery equipment? Personally, I’m not wild about exposing my own bow to arrows flambé. I’ve often wondered how people aim past the flame. And just how historically authentic is the flaming funerary ship? I always figured that this was a concept invented by Hollywood. Great visuals, not much scholarship. Here’s a question for the Mythbusters: Short of dousing the entire structure in gasoline, is it possible to set a ship afire with flaming arrows? And how do they keep the arrows aflame? Just a guess, but I’m thinking that the flame would be extinguished as soon as the arrow is launched.

If you’re a hot female archer and would like to answer some of these questions after calling Mr. Kon, please leave a comment.

~ by Lune on April 3, 2008.